I read this quote recently and it has changed the way I think.
(ابتلاؤك في الحياة ليس اختبارًا لقوتك الذَّاتية؛ إنما هو اختبار لقوة استعانتك)
The purpose of trials is not to test how strong you are, but how strongly you seek the help of Allah.
No matter how much strength you exhibit in bearing a trial – the strength of body or will – and no matter what you accomplish or avoid, the universe is stronger, and your strength and accomplishments compared to it are only a spec.
The strength of your body could never match the strength of the mountains.
The strength of your will and determination will be overcome by your mortality.
What you accomplish can dwindle away.
Don’t get me wrong.
Sabr matters, but it is not the goal. The great stoics were very patient.
Survival matters, but it is not the goal. Death is a fact.
Accomplishment matters, but it is not the goal.
What truly matters then is that in all of our troubles, and even in their absence, how is our “isti’anah”? How much, and in what manner do we call upon Allah?
When we understand this, we realize it is not shameful to feel small, weak and defeated before our problems. Nooh (عليه السلام) said:
أَنِّي مَغْلُوبٌ فَانتَصِرْ
“Indeed, I am overpowered, so help.” [54: 10]
We realize that it’s okay if it has been years and we are still not where we want to be. Zakariyya (عليه السلام) said:
رَبِّ إِنِّي وَهَنَ الْعَظْمُ مِنِّي وَاشْتَعَلَ الرَّأْسُ شَيْبًا وَلَمْ أَكُن بِدُعَائِكَ رَبِّ شَقِيًّا
“My Lord, indeed my bones have weakened, and my head has filled with white, and never have I been in my supplication to You, my Lord, unhappy.” [19: 4]
We realize that even if we have no one to blame but ourselves for our troubles, Allah can fix that. Adam and Hawaa (عليهما السلام) said:
رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ
“Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.” [7: 23]
We realize that our pain does not make us worthless. Ayyub (عليه السلام) said:
أَنِّي مَسَّنِيَ الضُّرُّ وَأَنتَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ
“Indeed, adversity has touched me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful.” [21: 83]
So call upon Allah. The people of Paradise will say:
إِنَّا كُنَّا مِن قَبْلُ نَدْعُوهُ ۖ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْبَرُّ الرَّحِيمُ
“Indeed, we used to supplicate Him before. Indeed, it is He who is the Beneficent, the Merciful.” [52: 28]
Numbing our emotions does not decide who we are, and pretending like everything is under control does not mean we have made it. It is our connection with Allah, through the ups and downs, that truly defines us.
فَصَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ ۖ وَاللَّهُ الْمُسْتَعَانُ
“…so patience is most fitting. And Allah is the one sought for help..” [12: 18]