How To Be A Successful Wife/Husband?

Ten Tips on How To Be A Successful Husband*

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives – radi Allahu ‘anhunn. It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.
6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8. Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah – radi Allahu ‘anha – was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah – SalAllahu alayhi wa sallam – would race his wife Aisha – radi Allahu ‘anha – in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger – SalAllahu alayhi wa sallam: “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!

Tips On How To Be A Successful Wife

1.  Be grateful to your husband. Remind yourself that it’s a tough world out there and your husband works very hard to provide for you. So whatever you do, don’t compare him to other men, unless it is favorably. Let him know that you appreciate his efforts, not just through your words, but also your actions.
2. Be sensitive to his moods, feelings and needs. For example, don’t start complaining or burden him with problems as soon as he comes home; rather, welcome him and make him feel good to be home.
3. Be cheerful and humorous, smile often, don’t feel shy to be affectionate with your husband and make him feel really happy to be around you. Express your love frequently and creatively, rather than waiting for him to do so first.
4. Make sure you serve him the foods he likes, remembering that variety is the spice of life. Try to eat together as this fosters companionship.
5. Dress up for your husband at home. Wear the colors and clothes that he likes to see you in and use makeup, perfume, jewelry – in short, whatever it takes to be attractive to him.
6. Do things together or at least allocate some time of the day to give him your undivided attention. Be sincere in appreciating him, show interest in his day, his activities, his thoughts and opinions. Give him advice and comfort him when needed.
7. Spend your husband’s money carefully and try to keep him informed of where his money is being spent. Remember not to spend large amounts of his money without his permission.
8. Show caring and concern for his relatives as this is a sure way of securing a place in his heart. Never object when he spends on them, as this is a source of abundance in provision and increase in life span.
9. Don’t fly into a rage when you have a difference of opinion or he criticizes you. Stay calm, control your tongue and don’t challenge your husband’s authority at that time. Use your wisdom, tactics and powers of persuasion later to try to explain your point of view.
10. Believe the best, not the worst about him. Be forgiving and accept apologies graciously rather than holding grudges and bringing up mistakes of the past.
11. Show respect for your husband by not divulging your private and confidential issues to others, or by complaining about him to people or discussing your marital problems with those who cannot help you.
12. Last, but not least, Remember that your husband is the head of the family and as long as obedience to him does not entail any sin, it is your duty to obey him. Allah’s Messenger Sal Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said: “Any woman who dies and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.’’

Source: www.farhathashmi,com

*By Muhammad Al Shareef