I don’t love her?
Umar ibnul Khattab [r.a.] said to a man who was thinking of divorcing his wife:
“Why do you want to divorce her?” He said, “I do not love her.” ‘Umar RA said, “Must every house be built on love? What about loyalty and appreciation?”
He went on:
‘You men! When we marry, we give a serious promise to her. A woman gives birth to children and goes through hard times during her pregnancy. Then she suckles the baby and takes care all nights about her children, when they get sick or need anything. She sacrifices her beauty and youth for being a mother. How fair is if, when her husband leaves her, when she is grown up? If she would have never take care of her home and family, instead of taking care of her body and beauty, her husband would say: “What a bad mother she is.” Where is integrity and loyalty? Fear Allah regarding your behaviour towards your wives.’
[Al-Bayan wa at-Tabayeen, 2/101; Fara’id al – Kalam, p.113]
you know, lot of people here talking about love, but do we trully understand what real love is?
Love is not just the feeling of blood pulsing through the veins when you someone, this is called “pulsation”, and it’s a pretty normal phenomena (joke).
Love is a complex act, that inquires much more then just feeling. Is a wish for the good will of the other, and for his/hers wellbeing, is the respect and care, the compassion and companionship, the mercy and pity, the passion and understanding, a complex set of interaction and emotions that two persons set themselves in, into a relationship, to both seek each other’s greater happiness and plentifulness and to achieve a higher point in their life.
In this aspect, love for the sake of Allah, is this interaction, to make each other better and help each other approach more a higher understanding and comprehension of their paper as muslims and humans, and for the sake of Allah, and in the way of Allah, to help each other become better people.
This is something hard to find, and to find people really seeking for it, a higher form of love, on my opinion.
But seriously now, love is not just a feeling.
Is an act. An complex act.